#5 Everyone Wants to be Happy

Everyone wants to be happy. Some behaviours seem to contradict that. Look deeper.

No matter how we twist and turn things, everyone just wants happiness in their life.

It doesn't matter if you believe in virtue ethics or good ol' hedonism–we find our path that we believe will make us happy now and down the road.

Sometimes it gets confusing when we can see behaviours that are in polar opposition to what's likely to make them happy.

Overweight people who want to lose weight but go on food binges and keep a poor diet.

Stressed out workaholics who set up bigger and bigger goals.

Or just mundane everyday stuff like doomscrolling on our phones when there are other things we want to get done.

Even if it doesn't make any sense to you, it makes sense to them.

It may not be reasonable, strong logic that holds any water–but it makes sense to them in that moment.

And at that very moment, it's the best they know what to do.

Looking Deeper

I once heard Christine Heath tell the story of a man with alcohol addiction who signed up for treatment in a classical 12-step program.

The receptionist that helped him out told him it's an 8 week program and not to worry about falling off the wagon, everyone does in the beginning.

He wanted to get the most out of the program, so he figured since everyone falls off in the beginning, he might as well just get it over with straight away.

So in his first week he went binge drinking, came back and said he'd fallen off and was now ready to get properly on track since that was out of the way.

As he explained his logic, needless to say–the receptionist was speechless at the apparent stupidity of his behaviour.

But just like Christine tells it, from his point of view, it made a lot of sense.

He really wanted to get the most out of his rehab so he did what made the most sense to him.

We're all looking for happiness–don't assume others behaviours are out of malice or contempt, assume that they're doing what they think needs to be done for them to be happy.

Even if it's a major mistake, it's in the end all very innocent.

We're all led astray by our thoughts.

And we do the best we can with what we've got, in the moment we have.